I am new to the kingdoms version of travian and I thought i remembered there being a setting where you can tell your troops to not defend the village. Please some help would be greatly appreciated.

Ignore attackers
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You can't, the only ways to do that are: either you put chicken boots on your hero, or you send far away troops (attack an inactive) so that they come back when you log again.
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That would actually be a very nice feature for some servers; making it a bit more "casual", giving the pssibility to "ignore" the game for a bit as an offensive teuton and the ony price is a loss in ressourses, not huge parts of your valuable off.
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That option would make it impossible to kill enemy hammers at home. Sounds like a bad idea to me.