I've gone back and re-read all your posts, it doesn't make sense. I've been in the top 5 or so for pop for pretty much the duration of com5 (been #1 or #2 for some time now, though not really that worried about it. If I finish #1, cool, but I'll trade that for the server win every single time). I've had the largest kingdom for at least half the server. I've had the most treasures for a significant part of the server, though I seem to recollect that Vedder had me beat for quite a while (same alliance). I'll guarantee you that I've had more troops die at my walls than any other player (though I'm nowhere near the leaderboard for def points, there are some serious deffers in our alliance that put me to shame). I'll guarantee you I've lost more high level fields, and more treasury levels, than any other player on com5.
Whether you sim or not has nothing to do with size, or whether you're a king, it's about the decisions you make. If you want to sim, knock yourself out. If you don't, don't. But it's not like either choice is forced upon you by size, role or anything else.